My Grandma Cheney

I think of my Grandma Cheney quite frequently. It has been 6 years since she passed away after a tough battle with pancreatic cancer. My aunt Carmen has been posting lots of pictures of her on Facebook the last couple of months and I've been saving them so that I can include them in our family scrapbook for my children to see. Carmen's pictures and posts prompted me to think of the things I remember most about my Grandma Cheney.

When I think of Grandma Cheney...
I think Grandma Bonnie...
I think of french braids- the ones she did in my hair, in BreAnne's, in Carmen's...
I think of watching The Music Man and Pete's Dragon and remember the touch of Grandma's hands in my hair while getting those braids while at the cabin at Duck Creek...
I'm reminded of the smell of melulueca oil...
Melulueca oil on Grandma's hands, on our sores or burns...
I think of road trips and visits, long talks and kind words...
I think of chocolate covered grapes!
I think of her beautiful white hair...
I think of her smile...
I think of her smile at family parties or anytime we were together with some or a lot of our family...
I think of Easter...
I think of her sweet voice...
How special that voice always made me feel- how loved...
I remember her being at all of my most special days- my wedding day...
And although she was gone before the birth of my first child, I've felt her during each pregnancy, after each one of the births of my 3 children...
I've never stopped feeling her love or presence in my life...
I feel she watches over me, over all of her family...
Her love still exists even though she's left this life here with us...
I see it in her children- in my aunts and uncles-
I remember her through them and am grateful for their shared memories of her...

Thank you Grandma, for all the love you gave and continue to give me. I love you and miss you dearly.

(Thank you Carmen, for sharing pictures of Grandma with me. I hope you don't mind my saving them for myself. I love them. Thank you for all the precious thoughts and feelings you've shared of your mom- your love for her, the loss you feel over her death. Such special feelings that I hold dear.)

Our 3rd Child: A Birth Story

August 27th-

In the early morning Justin and I headed to the hospital for my scheduled c-section. I was a horrible basket full of nerves. I'm not sure I've ever been so nervous in my entire life. Ah, I was so stinkin' nervous! I might even go as far to say that I was scared. Not scared to have another baby, but to have another c-section. Scared to be in pain or that something would go wrong. Justin gave me the sweetest blessing the night before, but I was still so very nervous and on the verge of tears at any moment because of it. The spirit was trying to bring me peace, I could feel it, but my body was struggling to listen to my heart.

We checked into the hospital and I was prepped for surgery. I tried to focus on big, deep breaths. I was so very excited to welcome another baby boy into our family. Everything was going really smoothly. I met the anesthesiologist and my sweet and loving doctor, Dr. Mark Bitner, came in and talked to me and Justin before meeting us across the hall in the operating room. Dr. Bitner was so tender with my nerves and assured me everything would be okay. I'm sure he could tell I was nervous. I could hardly talk for fear I'd burst into tears. After getting into my hospital gown and getting my IV etc, etc. I was ready to go. At exactly 7:30 they took me into the OR and gave me my spinal tap. Then Justin came in. He stood right next to me and held my hand.

Once the spinal tap kicked in (which was MUCH quicker this time around than last time) I started to calm down considerably. At this point, things all started happening pretty quickly. I was reminded to take deep breaths and stay calm. I don't remember feeling a lot of pain- at least the pain was not the main focus of my thoughts. In the minutes before our baby boy was born, my doctor asked if I wanted a mirror brought out so that I could see him come out of me. They had never asked me that before! What an amazing and surreal experience- to watch a tiny baby- our tiny baby come out of me after growing inside of me for 9 months... it was incredible. It is hard to describe all the feelings I had in those quick moments, but I felt of God's glory in the measure of his creation and I felt so loved and blessed and grateful to be entrusted to bear and raise His children as my own, Justin and I both watched in awe as the spirit surrounded us in the sweetest way I've ever experienced as another child joined our family here on the earth. He was perfect, and sweet and special and he was all ours. My emotions filled me and I couldn't help it as tears streamed down my face. Tears of happiness and joy. Pure love expanded my heart. The heavens seemed to open if only a tiny second and I felt of my Heavenly Father's love for me and for my family.

And so, on August 27, 2015 at 7:52 am this precious baby boy was born, weighing 6 lbs. 4 oz. and 18 1/2 inches long.

After my doctor held  him up for me to see the nurse brought him over right next to me and let me touch and kiss him. This was yet another first c-section experience for me. It was absolutely wonderful!

Sucking on his 2 middle fingers.

Lots of dark, dark hair.

Welcome to the world sweet (nameless) baby boy Norman.