It is all so very hard to handle.
On Monday, June 25th I went to my 12 week pregnancy check-up. Our baby no longer had a heartbeat.
This is my second miscarriage this year.
I share this because I don't know how else to tell everyone, and because I don't want to pretend that everything is okay when it's not. (It will be- I will be okay- eventually, but I'm not really okay today, and I might not be very okay tomorrow either.)
I am so sad. This is so hard. I feel so very ready for another sweet baby to join our family.
We have a quote in our bedroom that says,
"Faith makes things possible... not easy."
(Flowers from my mom and Keaton- another daily reminder of how loved we are.)
I find myself thinking about this quote multiple times a day. How very true it is. I have faith that everything will be okay, that God has a plan for me and my family. Does that make this tough trial easy? No. But, it doesn't make me faithless.
(Flowers from my mom and Keaton- another reminder of how loved I am.)
8 comments:
Oh my goodness, I'm SO sorry, Ashley. That's so rough to go through, I know. I've had two miscarriages myself, the first and hardest being before I had my first, and I HATE it when I hear of others having to go through it too. It stinks. There's no other way to put it. You guys will be in my prayers. If you ever need someone to talk to you can call me or message me any time. 801-717-5555 Take it easy. And something that helped me get through it at the time was knowing that they were special spirits who didn't need to experience life on earth and who I WILL meet someday. Hang in there!
Ashley, I am so sad to hear of your losses. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I just started crying for you as I read your post. I don't know if Wade and I ever told you and Justin, but I had a miscarriage about a year and a half ago. It was probably the hardest thing I have ever gone through. It just really really sucks. One of the hardest parts was feeling like I had to pretend like everything was okay when inside I wanted to scream. I agree with what Nicole said above, we WILL meet these sweet spirits some day. You are and will forever be your baby's mother. That helped me to think about too. And still does.
Please know that you are not alone and that you have some friends in New Jersey who will be keeping you and your family in their prayers.
So sorry for your losses Ashley. I think about you a lot!! You are a great mama!! I wish you the best!
Ashley and Justin,
Our hearts and prayers go out to you both. Family experiences certainly bring the greatest joys and deepest emotions and sorrows. I always think of Grandma Bonnie when I think of miscarriages. She had 9 of them on the 6 years between Thomas and I. I am eternally grateful to her to even be here. Thanks Mom and thanks be to God for families and eternal family plans. We love you both and Keaton. Johnny and Julie
Ashley, my heart sunk for you when I read this!! I am so sorry! Sometimes life really throws us for a loop!! You are such an amazing strong person!! The lord is soo aware of you and will comfort you! I learned years ago, the atonement is not just for sin but also for grief!! The atonement can heal you in that way!! I will keep you in my prayers!! Cami
My heart hurts for you, I am so sorry Ashley. Not having family close by and being in a new place doesn't make it any easier. You are incredibly strong and have done so many hard things already. I hope your heart and body heal at your pace. Lots of hugs.
I'm so sorry that is such a hard thing - even though I know your having a tough time the thoughts you shared about it all are going to be such a good reminder to anyone dealing with trials
know that you'll be in so many thoughts and prayers! you guys are very loved, and we have faith that things will be ok, too.
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